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Grieving and Growing: Balancing Motherhood and Sorrow

Grief is a powerful force that comes and goes, sometimes becoming stronger when everything else seems calm. Coping with the loss of a sibling or parent while also supporting your child through their struggles adds an enormous level of complexity to everyday life. This blog post is a tribute to that struggle and a guiding light for those who are facing similar challenges.


The Christmas Eve That Changed Everything


I remember the eerily quiet Christmas Eve night, where the silence was so profound that it muffled the carols and laughter that should have filled the air. While the world celebrated, my world crumbled, leading to a profound disconnect that would shape every December thereafter. If you have lost someone on a holiday, you might know this feeling - the need to celebrate while your heart is steeped in mourning.


As a mother, Christmas presents a challenging situation where I have to be cheerful for my children even when I am dealing with my grief. During these moments, I rely on specific coping strategies to get through the difficult times.


One Good, Ugly Cry


One invaluable piece of advice for any grieving mother is to remember that it's okay to cry. Allow yourself to release your emotions unfiltered and without any restraints. Cry until you can cry no more, let out the desperate, heaving sobs of loss and unfairness. Once you have cried your heart out, take a moment to gather yourself, and then move forward. Our children need us to rise and carry on, and we owe it to those we've lost to live life to the fullest.


Staying Busy, Staying Grounded


In the initial stages of grief, it may feel like the world is asking for a moment of stillness, a pause in our day-to-day lives. However, as a mother, I cannot afford such a luxury. To cope with my loss, I have found comfort in sticking to my daily routine. It has become a lifeline of normalcy amidst the overwhelming sea of sorrow. By taking one step at a time, and moving forward each day, the grief feels more manageable and less likely to take over.


Surround yourself with people who can empathize with your pain without judging you, and try to avoid negative influences. Engaging in activities that bring you joy can be a powerful step towards healing. It could be something as simple as baking a cake that your loved one enjoyed, or taking a long walk while reminiscing about conversations you shared. Such actions help to create a connection between your past and present and can assist you in the grieving process.


Consoling a Loved One


It's impossible to find the right words to comfort a spouse who has lost their partner of more than sixty years, as my father experienced when my mother passed away. All I could do was stand by him, offering him my silent but strong presence, while trying to bring our broken family together.


During times of profound sorrow that are shared with others, the difficulty of comforting a parent while taking care of your own child highlights the wide range of experiences that come with motherhood. The sense of responsibility to protect, care for, and carry on a legacy can all feel like a heavy burden to bear.


Grief as a Companion

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Hi, I'm Fe! I help busy families find balance by prioritizing their time for increased productivity.

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